The Other Side
by Complicity
Summary: "Could be any frontier, any hemisphere. No man's land." - The Clash. Jac/Serena Trilogy.
1. Limescale

**The Other Side.**

**A/N. Hi! I'm excited about this. New (platonic) pairing for me! Jac & Serena - I have unintentionally discovered that I love them. As it's a new venture I would especially appreciate your reviews & critical eyes. It's a trilogy & it's ALL written so no chance of abandonment I swear. Thanks! X**

**N.b. This bit is set in late April, for the Jac story timings.**

**Part 1. Limescale.**

The childish defiance. Serena watches it from afar, and it fascinates her. On one hand, she knows that the woman in question is incredibly intelligent, incredibly talented, and by all accounts has had her fill of gritty life experience. On the other hand, she's a child in scrubs. Her handle on a team of staff matches that of Ellie when she chaired the Prom committee last summer. She chuckles to herself, the accuracy of the comparison only increasing as Jac Naylor thrusts a pen across the Nurses' station with force when she thinks nobody's watching. Fascinating. It must be the slow day, or perhaps the fact that Ellie's on a week long French trip in Annecy with college, but something urges Serena to follow Jac as she slinks off towards the ladies. She blames it on professional curiosity.

Serena stands at the sink surveying herself critically in the mirror. It's been a few minutes now; One cubicle has remained conspicuously and silently locked shut, and she now feels ridiculous. She smirks at herself, drums her left hand on the sink and turns to leave. Then, of course, there's an audible gasp from the cubicle in question that stops her in her tracks.

"Everything okay in there?" Her stern question is met with a brief silence before the toilet flushes and Jac emerges from the cubicle, head held high. An excellent cover up to any but the most critical observer.

"Fine, thank you Ms Campbell." Jac busies herself by washing her hands, eyes focused on them, glancing up once or twice when she sees Serena hasn't left but instead stands watching the younger Consultant, arms folded. "What brings you up here anyway?" Jac keeps her tone light and impersonal, avoids letting on that her boss's behaviour is coming across as a bit weird.

"Actually, I'm looking for you." Serena lies easily, in truth she'd just consulted Elliot on a patient. Jac's gaze flicks up to meet hers in the mirror.

"Oh?"

"Mmm. I was actually hoping we could have a chat." Jac stops what she's doing and eyes Serena suspiciously.

"What kind of chat?" She infers the strange nature of their location with a flick of the wrist.

"Oh," Serena laughs carefully. "Nothing untoward. Come and see me when you finish your list?" Jac gives her a curt nod and she retreats.

Now, she considers as she makes her way back to Keller, that was an interesting decision. Very interesting decision indeed.

**ooooo**

It's late, the view from Serena's office window is an array of anonymous yellow lights, and she yawns as she signs off the last of her paperwork for the day. She gathers her belongings together, having long since given up on the allusive Ms Naylor, when there's a decisive rap at the door to her office.

"Come in."

"Ah, hi. I didn't know if you'd still be here." Jac loiters by the doorway. She's changed out of scrubs but is otherwise just off the ward, hair stuffed into a bun and still adorned with stethoscope. Serena can't argue with her colleague's dedication, at least.

"Which means you thought I wouldn't be." Jac shrugs at her raised eyebrow, refusing to rise to the insinuation.

"I thought I'd check."

"Right, well, it is late."

"It's fine, we can reschedule." Jac is halfway out of the door before Serena stops her.

"Wait, Ms Naylor," Jac sighs, shuts the door, and turns to face Serena with a smile. "I was actually going to suggest we go for a drink instead. As you know we're having a bit of a Management reshuffle, what with Mr Hanssen returning to the floor. Obviously, there's a discussion there that we can have tomorrow, but perhaps a drink between friends this evening would be a nice ice breaker before I speak to The Board?"

To Serena's surprise Jac slumps back against the door at the suggestion; Looks exhausted. She can see the inner turmoil behind the woman's eyes, determination not to turn down an offer of advancement met with an utter lack of energy for anything but bed. Serena feels unspeakably guilty, then, for this whole charade. Something approaching Motherly concern floods her gut as she realises just how drained the woman before her is; Concern that heightens an already present curiosity.

"Okay, I'll meet you in the bar. Fifteen minutes?" Serena nods.

**ooooo**

Twenty minutes later it's a different Jac Naylor who struts decidedly across the bar to the secluded corner table where Serena is already supping a glass of white wine from the expensive looking bottle before her.

"Sorry I'm late, phone call." In fact, this poised and collected version of Ms Naylor is quite an impressive turnaround, Serena decides.

"No problem. I took the liberty; I hope it's alright." She explains, already pouring a glass for Jac.

"It's lovely." Jac replies on autopilot after barely touching the glass to her lips. "So, you wanted to talk about an opportunity in senior management?" Serena can't help but smile at her directness.

"Actually, I recall suggesting a friendly drink." The hope of which appears to be evaporating by the second.

"Look, Ms Campbell, it's been a long day and I'd really rather not beat around the bush. If you have something to discuss with me perhaps you could just name it?" She doesn't like uncertainty; Unclear goalposts. Admirable.

"Ms Naylor I do think you've missed the point."

"Well, if the point is to start an all-girls-together club because your stroppy teenager won't play nicely with you anymore, then you're looking at the wrong girl." Jac takes a sizeable swig of the Chablis after rendering her boss speechless, perhaps for nerve or perhaps just to savour the moment. Serena remains increasingly impressed.

"You, ah, know there's no position with the board?" She replies after a considered silence.

"I've been at Holby for 8 years, believe it or not I do know when there's a sniff of change in the air." She sounds scornful, and Serena feels like she deserves it.

"Then why did you come?" Jac shrugs.

"Call it professional curiosity."

"Touche." Serena mutters under her breath.

"That said, I am getting a taste for this." Jac reaches over and pours herself another generous measure of wine, and Serena notices for the first time that her colleague has relaxed happily into the leather sofa opposite her despite the sharp tongue. Curiouser and curiouser.

"Well, I did consider the predictable Pinot Grigio but I can't stand the stuff." Jac makes a face.

"Ugh, me neither. Cheap and fashionable, very Chrissie Williams." They laugh amiably together, both noting it's a pleasure to see the other's genuine smile.

Some time later Serena is surprised to find herself draining the second bottle into their glasses. Her companion is clearly making the same observation, scratching her arm to disguise a glance at her watch.

"I should be going." Jac starts cautiously, aware she's been caught out but increasingly unwilling to hide her tiredness.

"Mmm, I concur." Serena smiles kindly. "I'm heading west, shall we share a cab?" Jac nods, almost forgetting her coat and feeling a touch light headed as she follows in the other woman's wake.

There's a companionable silence in the taxi that, whilst comfortable in the busy bar, feels slightly intimate in this situation. Serena turns to her colleague as they hit the flyover and opens her mouth to make small talk. Ms Naylor, however, is leant against the opposite window, bathed in moonlight and clearly already in a deep, peaceful slumber. Serena gets that soft protective pang in her gut again. She gives the driver her address in a whisper, leaving Jac to sleep.

**ooooo**

Jac had woken abruptly to find Serena Campbell's face inches from hers, repeating her name, and what looks suspiciously like Suburbia outside the taxi window. After numerous half hearted protestations it looks like she'll be staying the night here, which only leaves her with the conundrum of getting out of the car whilst her abdomen twists and pulls and ties itself in endometrial knots, determined to sabotage her poise.

"Come on. I've got a spare room and a new milk frother thing to try out with the Nespresso machine in the morning." Jac gives her a vague smile of acceptance, but Serena gets the distinct impression that the offer of a camp bed and a cold shower would have gained her the same response. She looks like a zombie as she crawls out of the cab, and Serena grabs both their handbags as she follows, pays the man, and links her arm with Jac's. "Ms Naylor, anyone would think I'm working you too hard."

"I don't usually drink during the week." She replies with no conviction at all, grateful for the arm that guides her up the garden path. Serena is a little surprised when she realises how heavily she's being leant on, glancing across to see a sheen of unshed tears that make Jac's eyes glow in the moonlight.

"Let's get you inside." She blurts out softly, one arm snaking supportively around Jac's waist.

**ooooo**

"Damn, I left my bag." Jac spins around in a panic as Serena lets them in to a cluttered hallway.

"I grabbed it." She doesn't shift her protective grasp from the other woman's waist, instead steering her into the living room and pressing her down into an enormous corduroy sofa, beside which she deposits the handbag. "I'll get us some water." In her absence Jac dry swallows a double dose of Diclofenac, places her head in her hands and wishes the ground would swallow her up in the same vein. The living room is as cluttered as the hallway; Something about the presence of a teenager's Ipad, hoody and a scattering of Benefit make-up makes Jac feel horrendously out of place. This isn't just a house but a loved in, lived in home. The mantelpiece is decorated in mismatched photo frames and dust; An award for Achievement in Key Stage 2 Art leans up against a Phd Certificate, almost completely obscuring it. It's sweet and poetic and it makes Jac want to cry.

"You have a wonderful home." She observes as brightly as she can when Serena returns with the water.

"Thank you." Serena sits beside her, kicks off her shoes and curls her legs up underneath her, snuggling into the opposite end of the sofa. She surveys her younger colleague again in the harsh indoor light. Jac hasn't relaxed at all. She's perched on the sofa, bent forward slightly with one hand placed on her abdomen. She looks as if she could throw up at any moment. It's true that Serena had no real clue as to how this evening would pan out, but she never envisaged she'd have the Junior Consultant on her sofa at 1am, plainly on the verge of a breakdown, and with no idea quite what to do next. After a short silence she decides to stop playing games and just ask; "Tell me, what ever happened with that patient I consulted on?" Jac looks genuinely confused, a hundred inter-departmental cases springing to mind at once.

"Which patient?"

"The Gynae referral. You." Jac's head snaps up to meet her inquisitive gaze and she snatches her hand away from her abdomen, placing it on the arm of the sofa instead. For a moment she looks furious and then, seemingly remembering her current situation, her gaze softens.

"I wasn't cryptic enough, then?"

"No." Serena confirms. "That, and the fact you were barking up the wrong tree entirely. Strange, since you're an excellent diagnostician and rarely bother to consult General Surgery at all." Jac smiles at the backhanded compliment in spite of her situation. In truth she doesn't mind, and to an extent suspected, that Serena may have seen through her guise.

"Well, she got referred to Gynae and she'll be fine." It comes out in a pleading tone, and Serena nods her acceptance to the end of the conversation. "Look, it's late and I'm knackered."

"Of course, say no more. The spare room's just upstairs on the left and there should be fresh towels in the wardrobe." She gives Jac a warm smile, one she hasn't seen before, as the younger woman departs.

She climbs the stairs lethargically, up towards the darker, cooler and far less judgmental first floor. The pain has diminished, but with every step away from her boss she feels less like sleep and more like spilling her twisted broken guts all over the Laura Ashley carpet and letting Serena Campbell pick up the pieces. She tries to stay strong, tears crawling freely down her cheeks but shaking shoulders in check, one foot in front of the other. She's unaware of the pair of eyes burning into her back until; "Oh Jac, for goodness sake." She barely manages to turn around before her legs buckle beneath her, a hand flies up to her face subconsciously and she sobs, loudly, without reservation.

Serena climbs carefully towards Jac from her position at the bottom of the stairs. She sits down and pulls the woman into her arms, their embrace urgent and desperate, Jac's face buried against her chest. Serena sighs for, of course, she understands. She understands what it means to be strong, ballsy and unflustered. She understands the firm set of impenetrable barricades and the personal fall out from becoming the best. Train hard, fight easy. Her rationale stumbles, though, as she realises that she doesn't understand at all. She doesn't understand the loneliness. The toughness for toughness sake, the bitter lashings of a woman who doesn't have a family to protect or, really, a place to call home. Suddenly the stroppy teenager in scrubs makes sense, and she holds her even more tightly.

"I can't have children." Her breath is steadied and they sit opposite one another once more. She leans against the wall whilst Serena leans against the banister, and they've compromised on the comforting twilight halfway up the stairs. "I didn't think that would bother me. Not like this anyway. Not like, I'm grieving for something I never had to begin with. I feel ridiculous."

"You're not ridiculous." Serena speaks softly, her arms folded, eyes trained on Jac.

"He said Endometriosis and this imaginary door slammed in my face. The ultimate glass ceiling. I felt numb. Completely isolated from everything. Everyone. I haven't felt like that since I was a teenager."

"And then?" Jac takes a deep breath.

"Then came the irrational. The insane." She pauses, closes her eyes for just a moment. "I smashed my shower head to pieces."

"Naturally." Serena replies after a beat, successfully bringing a wry smile to Jac's face.

"I was just standing there in the shower trying to imagine what could possibly have led to this, then trying not to think about it, trying not to hate myself, when I looked up and saw it."

"The shower head?"

"The limescale. All of this stuff growing out of the jets that I'd never really noticed before. Then, the more I looked the more I saw. It was around the taps, the plughole, everywhere it shouldn't be. Everywhere it had no right to be in my flat. So, I lost it."

"Sounds like a sight to behold."

"Anybody watching would have had me sectioned." Serena smiles and reaches over to place a hand on Jac's.

"Irrational is okay. Necessary, even." They're both silent for a minute, letting Serena's words sink in. Then, as the Grandfather clock in the hallway chimes 3am, they wordlessly agree to retire for a few hours of well earned sleep.

**ooooo**

Serena wakes to the unfamiliar smell of fresh coffee already brewing downstairs, and the clatter of movement in the kitchen below her. She feels groggy, achy and a touch hungover. Fifteen minutes later she creeps, bleary eyed, into her kitchen and is greeted by a revitalised Jac Naylor.

"Morning Jac."

"Ah, morning!" Jac hands her a cappuccino from the Nespresso as she enters the room. "You know, I should get one of these." She gestures towards the machine. "It's excellent."

"It is." Serena eyes her suspiciously, watching her hastily unpeel an orange and wondering how many espresso's she's pounded so far.

"Listen," Jac keeps her eyes on the orange as she speaks, "I'm sorry about yesterday. Exploding all over you."

"It's no problem." She yawns audibly as she speaks, silently cursing old age and Motherhood as Jac stands perky in front of her.

"It is, I put you out. It won't happen again."

"Back to normality?" Serena speaks with a tone Jac can't place, and she frowns.

"Yep. I've booked a taxi to work, it'll be here in ten."

"Perfect." Serena glazes over with the word, work face fixed, and heads towards the living room with her coffee.

"Serena," She stops, surprised to hear her first name on Jac's lips, "thank you."

**ooooo**

"Gossip?" Jonny Mac leans over the Nurses' station, placing his head between Ollie and Mo who are conspiring in a whisper.

"Okay, it's good. But I was just questioning its credibility."

"With my own eyes, I swear!" Ollie holds his hands up, wide eyed with honesty.

"Valentine saw Ms Campbell and our very own Jac Naylor arrive in the same taxi this morning. The latter," she pauses for effect, "is wearing the same clothes as yesterday." Jonny makes a face and they dissolve into banshee giggles.

Jac grins to herself as she stalks past the trio, fixing them with a trademark glare. Yep. Normality.


	2. Relationshipectomy

**The Other Side.**

**A/N. Well, thankyou for your lovely reviews! Chuffed. Slightly shorter second installment.**

**N.b. Set on May 7th, the 'Jac finds out' episode.**

**Part 2. Relationshipectomy.**

Run away from Mo Effanga. That's it. That's the only thing that matters in this moment. It's already been three hours of doe eyes, pestering for formal confirmation, and suffocating smiles. Now 8pm has arrived, the day's tasks are done, and she's making a dash for the car park and the releasing gulp of night sky. She gets as far as her parking bay before she encounters a problem, and curses herself for not thinking of it until this very moment.

On balance Serena has had a good day, so it's with a spring in her step that she heads downstairs at an hour she'd call reasonable. The spring falls and the step slows as she observes the apparent stalemate taking place a few metres from her car. She gets a strong sense of foreboding before she even approaches her colleague. "Everything alright, Ms Naylor?" Jac looks up sheepishly, knowing she's been caught in the act of staring at her bike, helmet in hand, with no clear intention of moving. The worst thing is Serena looks quite amused, and she's the one person in the hospital who won't be successfully fobbed off.

"I, er, can't get on it." She gestures towards the bike with her helmet. Serena, perhaps out of a sense of obligation, walks over to Jac and stands shoulder to shoulder with her, surveying the machine with curiosity.

"Why?" And when there's no response, "Pain?" Her eyes are searching, analysing, so Jac averts her gaze.

"Not exactly."

"Okay. Well, irrational I can deal with, you know that. Would you like a lift home?"

**ooooo**

"Just here, on the left." Jac directs her boss into the dockside compound just as a cyclist darts out in front of the Merc.

"Bloody moron!" Serena exclaims loudly and Jac balks at the emergency stop. Her heart hammers in her chest as she fears she may vomit in the presence of the boss who's already seen her cry. The car creeps more carefully into a space next to the building's entrance, and Jac turns gratefully towards Serena as she unbuckles, grabs her helmet and clambers from the car with haste.

"Thanks for the lift. Really, thank you." Bile creeps up her throat. Her keys are already in her hand and she only has to reach forward and grasp the handle but, of course, the universe conspires against her. The glass door slips helplessly away into the darkness.

Serena's hands are still on the steering wheel as her colleague faints theatrically at her front door. She's poised to drive away but was instinctively waiting until Jac made it safely into her building, just as she does when she drives Ellie to the station or a friend's place. "Jac Naylor," she mutters to herself as she scrambles out of her car, "you are more trouble than a hormonal teenager and a whole ward of reprobates."

Jac is half awake again in the few seconds it takes Serena to reach her side. She blinks up into the sky with an heir of confusion as her boss supports her head from the concrete with a forearm. Then, recollection suddenly abundant, she shoves herself into a sitting position and has to shut her eyes against the resultant dizziness.

"Hey, easy, easy." Serena has a hand on each of Jac's shoulders as she speaks. Slowly they stand together, and Jac begrudgingly submits herself into her boss's grasp.

It's Serena who takes the lead, showing Jac into the hallway of her own flat and flicking on the lights as she goes. She examines her more closely as they reach the well lit kitchen. "Did you hit your head?"

"Possibly." She answers in a mortified whisper, gritting her teeth against the throbbing lump she can feel at the back of her skull.

"Well, pupils are reactive. Any nausea yet?" Jac blinks, forgetting for a moment that they're talking about concussion.

"No. Yes. Well, it doesn't matter."

"Right." Serena puts her hands on her hips. "Tea, I think. Got any Earl Gray?" She ferries Jac out of the kitchen towards her sofa, and the younger consultant reluctantly follows orders. "You know," Serena starts conversationally, still in earshot as she fills up the kettle, "They can say what they like about Jac Naylor; Ice Queen, Undead, The Fire-haired Devil Incarnate." Jac rolls her eyes and huffs as she sits down, wondering how long she's going to be graced with the presence of the Iron Lady. Serena pokes her head around the door with a smile, "but you're never dull."

"Oh thanks." She replies, the comment dripping in sarcasm, and Serena hands her a mug of milky tea. "Is this in lieu of sympathy, then?"

"Absolutely. And, you do know I'll have to stick around tonight?" She presses the comment firmly onto her junior, expecting the protestations.

"There's no need, really, you've done enough. I have dealt with concussion before."

"Oh I know, I've seen your personnel file."

"And I'll be fine."

"I don't doubt it. But, just to be absolutely sure." Jac sighs, backed into a corner.

"Let me guess," she mumbles with a hint of bitterness, "Eleanor's away again?"

"On the contrary!" Serena answers honestly. "She has a friend staying over, and they have a sociopathic obsession with Taylor Swift's new album, at full volume."

"Ah." Jac laughs amiably, and Serena notices how she visibly relaxes when she believes she's not at the centre of anybody's concern.

"So now that's settled, dinner? I'm starving. Shall we order in?"

"You assume I don't cook?"

"Your kitchen's far too clean. Either nothing in there's ever been used or you've been on a limescale rampage again. I'm optimistically assuming the former." Serena winks wickedly and Jac is mock affronted.

"Well I'm glad you find it so amusing! Chinese?"

"Sounds wonderful." Jac pulls her iPhone out of her pocket, excusing herself to make the call. When she's finished Serena's eyes are still trained critically on her.

"What?"

"That bike thing. Are you going to tell me?" Jac considers it for a minute, then decides it'll be all around the hospital Effanga style by the morning anyway.

"What the hell, why not. I didn't want to get on the bike because I found out I'm pregnant today." Serena's eyebrows shoot skywards, which is oddly satisfying. "I had some crazy instinct to, I don't know, keep it safe. Stupid really, I don't even know what I'm going to do next. Haven't decided anything yet." She sounds like she's trying to convince herself, not her colleague. Serena leans over for a quick embrace.

"Yes you have. Congratulations." Jac looks at her lap, touched by the warm sentiment.

"It's still early days."

"And you're scared."

"I'm not scared. For god's sake I haven't had time to be scared."

"Haven't had time?" Serena repeats the phrase as if it's deeply amusing to her. "Fear doesn't need time and consideration to manifest itself. And trying not to think about it won't help." She pauses as Jac chews on her lip. "I had a scare, when I was pregnant with Ellie. I tripped down the stairs because I was more concerned with proving I could be superwoman at work and revising for my Consultant's exams than I was with my own welfare. I pushed myself too far." Jac can't deny she's enraptured as the great Serena Campbell admits fallibility. "So there I was, lying at the bottom of these stairs surrounded by concerned faces, acutely aware of my own stupidity and overwhelmed with this horrible terror. I'd not felt like that before. It stopped being a pregnancy and started being my baby. As I lay there she was the only thing that mattered in the world; I was paralysed. Convinced that, simply, blinking or breathing the wrong way could bring my world crashing down around me and leave me staring into an abyss. No coercion, no retakes, no apologies. One chance."

"One chance." Jac echoes in a whisper, biting back the tears she swore she wouldn't shed. "And no bloody control." Serena's heart aches for the woman before her. She curses herself for getting involved in the first place, wondering when her own self preservation instinct went out the window.

"No. No control, no rationale. And worse? You don't even get to work through it alone. Not even if you think that's all you know how to do." Jac frowns, stuck slightly on the odd statement and wondering how Serena Campbell came to make such an accurate evaluation of her.

"You mean the father." She states, unimpressed by the suggestion and the topic in general.

"Nurse Maconie, yes." Serena confirms her knowledge of the relationship in a manner that makes Jac think she's been spending too much time in the same room Henrik Hanssen. "I gather, from the look on your face, that it didn't last." At this point Jac wants to tell her it's none of her business but something makes her bite her tongue.

"No."

"You performed a neat little Relationshipectomy, scrubbed out, and moved on to the next Op."

"Yes, that's pretty much how it works." Jac glowers at her colleague, increasingly bored and insulted by this metaphor.

"Right."

"Look," she starts, unsure of her need to justify herself to Serena but rolling with it, "It's not just some silly fight. There was a fight, but, it's so much more fundamental than that. The whole time I've known him he's wanted to change me. Every time we get close there's this constant nagging, determination to make me into what he wants me to be. He has a perfect vision of the person he loves, sitting pretty with her heart on her sleeve and the problem is; That's not me."

"I believe you. I think I understand, too, if you'll accept that."

"Then you understand why I'll be doing this alone." Serena shakes her head.

"But you won't. As long as you live in the same city as Jonny he will question every decision you make. You have to find a way to do this together, or you have to find a hiding place a lot further away than your office." She shrugs, and Jac wracks her brain for a contradiction before slumping back against the sofa in silence.

"Yeah, I know. I just need a few weeks though." She puts her hand on her stomach, still trying to get her head around the bunch of cells within it and the chemical reactions that are turning her insides upside down. "A few weeks just for me."

"Of course you do." Serena agrees in a flash. "And if you need a friend?" Jac smiles.

"Yeah, I know where you are. Filling me with confidence by hiding from your teenager." Serena opens her mouth to respond just as the doorbell rings.

"Food! Excellent."


	3. Concealer

**The Other Side.**

**A/N. A voila, probably the last bit. Thankyou guys for the feedback, slightly different direction for this bit so I hope you like it. X Sarah**

**Part 3. Concealer.**

It's the tail end of a long shift, and Jac stalks into the ED's resuscitation room with the temperament of a captive tiger. "Who the hell paged me down here instead of my Registrar?"

"Ah, panic not, mere mortals!" The booming response comes from the doctor leading a resus attempt in Bay 1. "Ms Naylor has arrived, we're all saved!" Jac's hands fly to her hips, irritated further by his sarcasm.

"Oh bloody hell, is this my consult?" He gives her an affirmative wink. "How long's he been down?"

"Fifteen minutes; Massive MI. I would have let you know but, hey, I have my hands full." She groans inwardly, never amused by a man with a hero complex.

"Fine, I'll leave you to it. I'm going back to Darwin."

Jac has never been a huge fan of the ED. Even as a Junior on rotation she found her sharp tongue far more apt at riling the hoards of drunks and morons than being conducive to treating them. Today she finds its unpredictability and high tempers unnerving, which she decides is that bloody protective instinct rearing its head again. She sighs as she stalks back through the department towards the lift; It's going to be a long 9 months.

"No, no, and for the thousandth fucking time, no! You can't phone my parents!" Jac does a visual sweep of the area as she hears the disturbance in a cubicle, her heart sinking when she realises nobody else is around. She wavers, wondering if her conscience will let her stride past and ignore it. "And I don't want a nurse butchering my face, either! I want a surgeon!" Serendipity. Jac yanks the curtain back with a smile, silencing the stroppy teenage girl before her.

"Everything okay in here?"

"I can handle this, thank you." The nurse looks frazzled as she snaps back at Jac, and the patient takes the opportunity to knock the sterilised suture kit onto the floor.

"Yeah, looks like it." The teenager smirks at Jac's sarcasm, and she takes the smile as her cue to leave them to it, but the white identification board by the bed catches her eye as she pulls the curtain back across, and she stops in her tracks. "Why don't you take 10? I can deal with this." She addresses the nurse in a tone that suggests she has no choice, but she doesn't need much persuading.

"Fine by me, she's all yours." Jac takes a considered breath as she's left alone with Ellie Campbell, looking the girl up and down as she approaches her bedside. For all her big talk she looks shaky and frightened. She's dressed for a party and she stinks of booze and cigarettes, but her right hand is held miserably up to her face, pressing a gauze to a laceration at her right temple. There's a lot of blood; The bandage is sodden and it's run between her fingers, down her forearm and all over her white top. Although it's drying and congealing now, she imagines it must have been a shock for the girl at the time.

"Okay," Jac starts, with more confidence than she feels. "You want a surgeon, you've got one." She unhooks her ID badge from her belt loop and drops it on Ellie's lap, who diligently picks it up and pretends to comprehend all the letters after Jac's name. The bold arrogance makes the Consultant smile, and she snaps on a pair of gloves after retrieving a fresh suture kit from the tray. "The only catch," she continues as she removes the gauze to examine the wound, "is that you have to tell me exactly what happened."

"I told the nurse already." Ellie mumbles defiantly.

"Yeah, but then you scared her away and now you're stuck with me. By the way, I'm not so easily fobbed off and yes, I know your Mum." Ellie's eyes snap up to meet hers.

"You can't tell her."

"It's not my job to tell her." She placates the girl quickly, then presses an alcohol wipe firmly and decisively along the wound, receiving a yelp in return. "Right," she picks up the implements with a smile. "You talk, I'll sew."

"Will it hurt?" Her voice is small.

"Not really," Jac whispers, "I'm good."

"Okay." Ellie's silent for a few moments as Jac starts, her bloodied hands fidgeting in her lap. Then, when she's sure the Consultant wasn't lying about the pain, she talks. "I went to a party at a friend's place. She had a punch bowl and it got a bit out of hand. Well, I got a bit out of hand; I didn't know the guys were tipping extra Bacardi in it."

"Oops."

"Yeah. I got on a table and started dancing." She sounds mortified.

"I knew you were trouble."

"What?"

"Nothing." Jac smirks, eyes still on the stitching.

"It was Daft Punk actually and it's not funny. I fell off and hit my head on a chair."

"Did you black out?"

"I don't think so. I bloody wish I had, it was awful." Jac looks around the cubicle as if noticing something for the first time.

"Did nobody come in with you?" Ellie shrugs.

"Jay was looking after me so my girlfriends left us to it. He put me in a cab."

"How good of him. There, all done." She presses an adhesive bandage over the stitching and sticks everything else in the medical waste bin.

"It's no big deal, he just wanted to stay at the party. I can look after myself." Jac nods with mock sincerity. "Will it scar?"

"No."

"The nurse said it might."

"Well like I said, I'm good. Keep it covered for a couple of weeks, then use E45 cream once the skin's healed over."

"Okay. Thanks." She looks around sheepishly, avoiding Jac's gaze. "Um, what happens now?"

"Well, I'll sort out your discharge form. You'll have to wait for it to be signed off by someone from this department, but then you're free to go." Ellie looks straight at her hands, trying to think away the hot sting of tears in her eyes. Jac waves a tissue in front of her and it tips her over the edge; She dissolves into pathetic sobs, grateful for the comforting hand that rubs her back. "Yeah, you sure sound like you can look after yourself."

"I've really messed up."

"Tell me." The demand is met by another quiet sob. "Well, if you don't tell me, what do you expect me to do about it?" Reluctantly Ellie fumbles in her handbag for her phone, and passes it to Jac. She looks at the screen and lets out an exasperated sigh. "Twenty three missed calls! Ellie, where does your Mum think you are?"

"I was going to tell her about the party. Then she was working late, again, and I knew she'd just be in a right mood if I called her. I'm sick of living on her schedule, so I just went."

"You just vanished?" She nods slowly, and Jac finds her hands moving instinctively to her hips. "I'm just curious, how else did you think this was going to go?!"

"Actually I thought I knew exactly how it'd go." She pauses, puts her head in her hands and groans in frustration. "I'm such an idiot." Jac waits patiently for more. "Tonight was supposed to be, 'the night' with Jay."

"The night?"

"Doesn't matter." Her phone trills into life again and Ellie silences it immediately. Jac's sympathy starts to waver as she imagines Serena curled up on her sofa, trying her daughter's mobile for the 24th time.

"Ellie, you have to call her." She squirms.

"Can't you do it? Please?" Jac considers the idea for a moment, trying to steel herself against the doe eyes and forlorn looking mascara streaks.

"Okay fine." She curses her fluctuating hormones. "Stay here and wait for the form. I'll just grab some things from upstairs then I'll drive you home."

**ooooo**

"Oh man up, Jac Naylor." She growls at herself as she stares at the phone in front of her. She's sitting in her office, uninterrupted in the dead of night, and squirming over this like she's the teenager. She closes her eyes and tries to picture Serena again, alone and worried. A lump starts to form in her throat and she hits the call button before she loses her nerve.

"Hello? Darling?" The voice on the other end of the line is more frantic than she imagined it would be.

"Serena it's Jac."

"Oh, right, um. Sorry I can't really, I know I said anytime but," her voice is cracking and Jac blurts it out as fast as she can.

"Ellie's at the hospital. She's okay." Then silence. Painful, deafening, guilt inducing silence. "Serena? She's safe. She's just been discharged. She's okay." There's a shaky intake of breath on the other end of the line.

"I'm on my way."

"No, don't."

"Don't you dare tell what I should do right now!" The fierce bellow takes Jac's breath away, and she braces herself for the secondary attack. "You know nothing about this! You are an emotionally unstable disaster with nothing beyond your own selfish interests and you have no right to be involved in this!" Jac blinks back the first prickle of tears and tries to concentrate on keeping her voice level.

"Your daughter's already been discharged and we're going to leave now. We will be with you in less than 45 minutes. You're in shock, Serena, just please don't get in a bloody car. Capiche?" She waits a moment, hears the first sign of a sob on the other end of the line, and hangs up. She leans on her desk for a moment longer after putting the phone away, takes a couple of deep breaths, then grabs the bag of things she's gathered and heads back to the ED.

**ooooo**

"Here." Jac dumps the bag on a plastic chair next to the one Ellie's now perched on in the ED reception area. It piques the girl's interest enough to distract her from her mobile phone.

"What is it?" She peers at the collection of items, slightly confused.

"Well, before we leave, it might be a good idea if you make an effort to look a little less like the undead. I think your Mother's had enough shock for one night." Ellie pulls a plain grey t-shirt out of the bag, followed by a plastic hairbrush and a chocolate bar. "And you need to eat that. Blood loss; Sugar levels." Finally she extracts a sizeable makeup bag and places it on her lap. Her eyes light up as she unzips it and finds an array of Clinique and Yves Saint Laurent. "That, of course, I'll need back."

"Thank you! I'll be, like, 10 minutes." She laughs aloud as she watches the girl hurry to the toilets, clutching the makeup as if it's gold dust whilst treating Jac's favourite t-shirt with complete distaste.

"Okay, I'm ready." Jac looks up as Ellie reappears in front of her. She's dwarfed a little by the loose fitting crew neck top, reminding Jac that she's little more than a child, really. Jac stands up so they're face to face and examines the girl closely.

"Almost." She holds out her hand expectantly and receives her makeup bag from Ellie, accompanied by an eye roll. "Just one more thing."

"I look fine! Apart from this maybe." She indicates the wound. "Oh, and this." And the t-shirt.

"Well, this I can do something about." Jac takes Ellie's chin and gently turns the right side of her face towards her, producing a tube of concealer as she does so. Ellie remains silent as Jac gently and precisely applies a perfect cover over the angry red bruise that's starting to appear around the bandage. "There." She turns the girl towards the window so she can look at herself in the glass.

"'God, that's amazing. Mine's crap."

"Keep it." Jac shrugs and hands her the tube. "Woman's best friend. Besides, you'll have college and things in a couple of days, and that bruise isn't getting any smaller." She picks up her handbag. "Okay, home time. Come on."

**ooooo**

They pull up outside the house and fall silent. Ellie has spent the last half hour begging for Jac's support when they arrive, and she has remained decidedly unresponsive on the matter, determined to wait and get her cue either way from Serena.

"Please." Ellie tries a final whimper as the front door flies open and her Mum stalks down the garden path towards them.

"Man up, Eleanor." Jac swings the car door open as she speaks, whilst Serena does the same on the passenger side of the car. Jac spins around to lean on the roof and survey the reunion between Mother and Daughter with a critical eye. Serena drags Ellie from the car by her shoulders, standing her up and examining her features. She turns her head to the side and feels the swelling around the wound whilst taking her pulse with the other hand.

"Did you black out when you hit your head?"

"No."

"Pupils seem fine." She uses her phone torch to check. "Have you been sick?" She shakes her head. "Good. Oh god, Ells." Mother pulls Daughter into a suffocatingly tight hug.

"I thought you were going to kill me." Ellie mumbles into her chest.

"I still might." Comes the stoic reply.

Jac looks at her shoes. If nothing else, she's slightly perturbed by the sense of deja vu she gets at this precise moment. She sees the similarities in the exchange that she too shares with Serena, and she swallows the realisation that she, Jac Naylor, is no longer the capable Island she thought she was. Fleetingly she wonders if she could cope with this pregnancy at all without her boss' emotional support. Jonny comes to mind, then Sacha, even Mo. She tries to quash the notion immediately, her own co-dependence slapping her in the face with gusto.

"Jac?" She looks up. Ellie is disappearing up the garden path and Serena addresses her alone. "For god's sake come in." She sounds desperate, looks worried, and Jac is reminded of their phone conversation from earlier. She nods, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly, and follows Serena towards the house.

**ooooo**

"She's asleep." Serena joins Jac in the living room. "Do you need to stay?" She walks up behind the sofa and places a hand on Jac's shoulder, pressing the question onto her with lashings of concern. Jac swings around to face Serena, taken aback.

"Don't give me that! You know full well I'm not here because of me!" Serena presses her lips together, her eyes pleading for the pretence. "Well what did you think I was going to say? You have about as much forethought as Ellie."

"Okay, fine, just shut up." Serena places a hand over her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to draw as much oxygen into her lungs as possible. "Shut up, and keep me company whilst I drink an entire bottle of Bordeaux and you remain tortuously sober."

"Sit down," Jac orders gently. "I'll get you a glass."

She returns from the kitchen a moment later to see Serena has taken up her signature position in the corner of the sofa. At first glance she's simply perched with her head in her hands, but on closer inspection Jac spots the odd shudder, and it soon becomes clear that Serena Campbell is blubbing silently into her own lap. Jac looks at her shoes.

"She really is fine." She dumps the glass on the table and fumbles in her bag, pulling out a photocopy of Ellie's notes from the ED. "Look, here." Serena takes the papers.

"How uncharacteristically negligent of you." It's a prickly sarcastic garb; Jac shrugs.

"She's your daughter. Rules aren't that important." Serena puts the notes on the coffee table without a second glance, and Jac gets the impression she's saying all the wrong things.

"I know she's fine now, Jac, but I thought she was fine all along. I wasn't there and I didn't try to be. She let you think I'd tried to call her, didn't she?" It dawns on Jac that the woman before her is tearing herself to pieces internally, and to Serena the issue feels far too complex for anybody else to really get it, in its entirety. Too painful to try and explain. She knows how that feels, at least. She wonders if she has the ability or inclination to push Serena Campbell into spilling her emotions; A teary tirade of internal dialogue almost completely without punctuation or coherent syntax. She doubts it.

"I assumed." Jac confirms gently, taking a seat beside her friend.

"Her friend Gabby called her fifteen times when that boy, J-something, came back to the party alone." Jac nods, cursing herself for not seeing what's now obvious. "He tried to call her, too. So did a girl called Lucy who I've never met. I tried once, because it was late and I was angry that she'd gone out without permission. I was angry. Anything could have happened, but I couldn't see past being irritated and kept awake and potentially not being on form for tomorrow's theatre list."

"But it didn't happen. You're in-"

"It did!" Serena checks herself as she spits the words at volume, wary of waking Eleanor. She switches instead to a whispered snarl. "I got a phone call from the hospital. There is no way to sugar coat that, even if you think you tried. And if you dare bloody tell me I'm in shock again, I." She deflates as suddenly as she started.

"You'll what?" Jac replies, unfazed. "You can't beat me up, I'm pregnant. And sort of your employee. The GMC would definitely frown on it."

"Ellie thought I'd given up and decided she could fight her own battles. She thought I'd left her alone. I had." Serena ignores Jac's witticism as she delivers the punchline like a punch in her own gut.

"Don't be absurd." Jac replies almost immediately. "Look," She glances wildly around the room, gesturing their surroundings, "this is the opposite of alone! This is a life. Maybe you can't see that at the moment because you're wrapped up in one tiny mistake, but, this is everything. You've already given it to her and something tells me you won't stop now. Just, take a step back, remember that you are in fact only human and that everything is okay. Bigger picture Serena."

They're both silent for a long time after that. Jac doesn't doubt she's crossed a line. She wonders if she's gone too far, or not far enough. Eventually she averts her gaze.

"I'm not in shock." Jac laughs, an involuntary 'ha' at Serena's childlike retort.

"No," she agrees mockingly, "Course not."

_Fin._


End file.
